Post-58

I think I ought to restart this blog back. Initially, I thought of keeping low profile until I retire but I have been posting too much on social media that would have defeated this idea in the first place, Sometimes the urge was too strong to resist posting and a lot of it was due to some painting ideas/events as completely in black and white (even 2-bit gray scale can show more features). Been part of management team for so many years, I guess, has spoiled me, in letting me see the various different contexts in understanding events/ideas. But posting too much on the social media can turn people off, which led me to post this. Maybe I will discuss some of these matters here in a different post, which is less intrusive.

I celebrated my 58th birthday last December. This means I have another two years of service left at the present university. Reflecting back, I wished that I could have done more for physics, mathematics and the university. It has been hard; just thinking about it, will make my eyes swell with tears. I could tell many stories, but at 58, one doesn't want to be bitter about whatever happened that made one's life difficult. As I have said earlier, I take all of it as fate and a test for me. I would like to continue with my remaining life, contributing in the small ways that I can. Perhaps, at least one contribution to the university that I can safely say is to form a theoretical physics group from almost nothing. Now, I have my ex-students, Dr. Chan, Dr. Nurisya and (hopefully soon Umair) joining the department to take over.

Let me continue what had happened during my 58th birthday. It was like a normal day in the beginning with me working at home. Then my youngest came to my room and told me that somebody wanted to see me downstairs. Puzzled, I went down to see what it is, with me wearing my 'kain pelikat'. Then I saw two ladies holding a bouquet of chocolates to say happy birthday. It was my wife who asked them to come to hand over the chocs. What a pleasant surprise (but I was a little embarrassed having the 'kain pelikat' on). Here is a picture:

That night we went out for a birthday dinner (it was only CMCO in Seremban then). I have been craving for satay for some time; the one dedicated satay restaurant that was in Seremban 2 has closed. So the whole family (my other half, second son and youngest) suggested that we go to the one in old Seremban city. Here is a pic.

The day could have been wonderful if not for receiving a copy of letter from a lawyer firm asking for compensation from a person (addressed to the said person) who had a broken contract with the university. I had known about this earlier as it happened when we were planning for EQuaLS (my guess is someone raised the matter when we had sponsorship). However I did not get any letter then (so was not thinking about it too much) but it was due to the letter being sent to a house that we had rented when we were staying in Bukit Chedang (that's how long ago it was!). This could really have bad consequences. I was upset the whole day long but I just do not know where to channel this anger. Perhaps I was a fool to trust people. For the next several days, my blood pressure was high (particularly the diastolic one), despite my regular intake of medication. And that prompted me to lay low. I get this feeling that some people do not like me and maybe prefer me to get into trouble.

Thereafter, and even now, I said to myself, I will leave my fate with Allah and I pray that I can retire peacefully without any trouble.