Watching the Event in Bangkok

So last night, I watched all the performances of Eurovision Asia 2026 mainly to see how our Malaysian representative, Aina Abdul, fare against all the other performers. My other half was surprised at how I was invested in watching the full show (I rarely do this). Aina Abdul did not win and got only the fourth place.You can watch her performance hereand form your own opinion on it.

Congratulations to Philippines (Carmelle) for being the winner.and the other performers for putting up the show. Congratulations to Aina and her team for putting up a very good performance. The staging was great and of course, there are the usual comments of extravagance, but those who have seen her perform before, this is pretty normal (though I will comment on this matter later in a different perspective). Another criticism on the song that has been mentioned in some reactions is that the song lacks some peaking moments. Perhaps not often realised by others that the song has a three-minute constraint. With the slower build-up of a ballad while maintaining continuity (not sounding like a hodge podge of sounds) is a challenge. Note added: Just saw this morning, a (Western) reaction to Aina's final performance, making a remark that the person hopes that Aina will not do so well. Later the person even made the remark that this is the first time the person sees an 'Islamic' nation entering the competition. Sometimes, I wonder.

Anyway, I actually quite like the song Bluest Skies, instilling some Malay sounds (not just the traditional instrunents but the subtle Malay sway of the vocals) but yet listenable to Western ears. The song was composed by Aina Abdul herself and co-produced by Mac Chew.When I first saw Aina perform with a pianist (without the backing track), I was wondering who the pianist is. In her past performances, she was often accompanied by Sylvia Wong. Then in some video clip I was watching, the name Mac Chew was mentioned. I finally recognised that Mac Chew was the pianist in the video. Knew of Mac Chew since his days with Roslan Aziz Productions.

Anyway, winning and losing is part and parcel of competition. Thus, not winning is no big deal and in fact, I believe there is grace in this outcome: Aina need not perform in the forthcoming Eurovision; she would probably be a stranger there and will probably get uncomfortable. Being Muslim and the necessity of modesty, this puts limitations what can be incorporated in her performance (or even interactions).Thus, perhaps the dwelling in seemingly extravagant staging is perhaps compensating what can't be done comfortably. Without being disrespectful and sounding like a sore loser, the competition seems to be less about the song and music; other factors come into play (almost game-like). For me, what Aina did was not what they wanted and it is best just to leave this behind, recover and channel her creativity where it is really wanted. With respect to international audience, I think she has already have it with so many reactions to her past videos, though perhaps not as large as she wants.

I would also like to compare this with the experience I have in handling scientific events. Some (international) events expect wine and dine, or socializing in bars, which we are not allowed to do so in official events (including social ones) and particularly as Muslims. This often lessen our chances or made unfavourable for us to organize (regular known) international events. To overcome these hurdles, we often create our own (lesser known) events. Personally, academic events need not such elements.What is more important is the scientific environment that one creates. Having said this, it does not mean that we want to seclude ourselves from other communities and become frogs under coconut shells (Malay idiom); we certainly want to be part of the bigger international community without trampling on Muslim sensibilities. Such is our predicament. I'm happily retired now and I do not need to think about all these. Enough on this competition!

Zonked Out

This week has been a difficult week for me as I was on pain killers and nervous system medication (both drowsy). My back took a beating when I drove to fetch my youngest (see here) and then sending him back (driven by my youngest himself and then taken over by my other half). The long hours sitting in the car (due to traffic jam) triggered another long episode of bad back.A few times, I was zonked out, not knowing the time of day as I was awakened from a deep sleep. For the coming week, I should lessen my medication intake; feeling that I had killed part of my brain cells.

I can't imagine the state I will be in if I had followed my other half to Terengganu. Here are some pics from her travel there.

On Thursday, my second son. Ihsan followed me to my regular medical check up at UPM Medical Centre. He was excied to see the changes made in the campus.He asked me to snap a photo of the new 'container stores' near the CIMB bank. There is now 7Eleven (hidden in photon) and also at the central lecture theater facility.

I wasn't feeling too well coming back from the medical check-up trip. Since the usual eatery in UPM wasn't open (due t some eletrical problem, I was told), we stopped by at Seremban RnR to have our lunch. Indeed, thereafter I zonked out on reaching home.

Yesterday, knowing that I won't be seeing Ihsan for at least a few weeks, took some photos with Ihsan at Masjid Hussain and then later when he drove off back to JB.

Earlier that day, I heard the news of Pn Hanita has passed away (was told after she had influenza). I knew Pn Hanita when I was at ITMA and she was the admin officer there. May Allah forgive her sins and grant her jannah.

Concidentally, this piece of memory in ITMA resurfaced on my FB page.

Note added: Being a musically inclined person, I have been following the Eurovision Asia 2026 (tonight, I believe) mainly due to Malaysia's participation with Aina Abdul as a representative. Watched some reactions to the entries mostly by Europeans. Some were polite but yet pointed out some of the songs felt dated. There was one reaction, which is pretty frank I think, mentions about how geopolitics might come into play in the voting. The public votes from one country are not allowed to vote for their own country, which means the votes have to come from other countries, perhaps opening to geopolitical biasness. Then the person goes on to say that some might not vote favourably for Aina due to her Muslim appearance (with the headscarf). Huh? Too bad if this is so (politics and Islamophobic elements). Regardless, Aina should do her best and keep the intentions good and clear.

Beginning of First Long Weekend in November

Lately, we were fed with news of many countries (at least 33 not including Malaysia) that issued advisories of stocking up food etc for 3-10 days. Our own Prime Minister has advised us not to panick but just be alert of developments. Among us in the family, perhaps I'm the one who is always updating the family about important global events - the 'alarmist' in the family, perhaps. With the war restarting, one can't just be too careful. Anyway, with the help of my other half, we did buy extra food stuff last two days, in part for being cautious but also for this coming long weekend and the rest of the month.

My other half has now travelled to Raia Hotel Kuala Terengganu for her meeting cum conference, with Ihsan, my son from JB. They started their journey before Fajr simply because of the opinion about Friday prayers will still be compulsory if travelling after Fajr. I told my other half that there is another opinion on the matter (given that circumstances are different) but I let them follow whichever they feel comfortable or more convinced with. On reflection, my other half tends to have 'stricter' tendencies. This is why my other half prefer not to read some of the books in my religious book collection.

As mentioned in my previous post, I diid not accompany her this time, not wanting to be a burden.But better, I have made myself more useful by picking up my youngest son from Kampung Seri Mendapat for this long weekend. My other sons are not available since they are working (usually coming back home late). So today, it was my first time driving a long distance alone after some time since I have a bad back. We stopped by at Ayer Keroh RnR for our late breakfast and thereafter let my youngest son drive from there.

After the drive, I had to ake Tramadol to ease the pain.

Earlier in the week, my third son Izhar has moved into his rented room in Bangsar South.

I hope he will be happy there, saving him plenty of travel time and expenses.

On the scientific front, my former student told me that the article "Critical Temperature in Nonextensive Hadron Models:A Pressure-Based Approach" has been published (after quite a review). This gives a good ending for 2026.

Ghostly Understanding at Dusk

My second article with Majalah Sains has just been uploaded. It is about neutrinos. Some may ask why would I want to write on something in whch I have not done proper research on. Particularly I'm a bit anxious on how our real researchers will react to the article. I did refer to their earlier article in Majalah Sains out of respect. As a contributing author, I thought it would be good for the magazine to have article(s) of current interest (neutrinos in this case given the recent Nobel Prize in Physics). Indeed that was my intent to  promote better understanding of neutrinos but with a different take on the subject (mine would be its mathematical structure).

While I'm not a neutrino physics expert, I do have interest in the topic. I took several particle physics courses in my BSc., Part III and PhD studies. In that respect, I do have the necessary background to say something I guess, but more than that, my B.Sc. (Hons.) thesis was on Minimal SU(5) GUTs and its modifications and these would include the topic of neutrinos. Of course, at the time, neutrinos are considered massless. With neutrino oscillations, that has changed. Thus, I thought it would be nice for me to update myself on the topic of neutrino masses. I thought I would be able to use simple 2×2 matrices to demonstrate the more common knowledge of matrix diagonalization in dealing with the mismatch between flavour and mass eigenstates of the neutrinos. With neutrinos being neutral, there are two possibilities i.e. introducing Dirac masses and Majorana masses.Then I found I had to introduce too many things to make the introduction accessible. I finally decided against the original idea and suffice for the article, to introduce verbally the main concepts without the mathematical details. To do it properly, one would have to do a mini course at least.

This year's Physics Nobel Laureate is Francis Halzen. He happens to be the author of the book Quarks and Leptons with Alan Martin. I have the book for quite sometime and was my reference book on particle physics even before I studied for Part III. Unfortunately, I did not have the book during my final year honours project; my main reference then was Langacker's Physics Reports article. The book by Halzen & Martin that I had, was a present given to me by my late eldest brother (may Allah forgive him and be placed among the righteous; regretted that I was not able to be with him in his final hours and attend his funeral).

Alan Martin was one of my lecturers in Durham University. He taught us Introductory Particle Physics; we had to take courses during the first year of PhD. Having learned Particle Physcs quite substantially during my Honours year, I remembered my attempt of looking intelligent in Alan's class by asking a subtle question about isospin. He immediately pointed out my confusion on the topic. It was later that I realised I had mixed up between strong isospin and weak isospin (should be kept separate). This demonstrates that learning with humility is better than learning with a sense of arrogance (often disguised as self-confidence).

So when I wrote the article, the attitude I adopted is for the betterment of my understanding of any subject of interest, more than anything else. I no longer have to chase formal academic recognition but one thing I still do have is the pushback against stereotyping or belittlement particularly in technical areas. At this old age, being humble is relatively easier (though one has to keep on guard not to let ego slip through) and that drives my interest even at this late stage. Being an average Joe, I know that I have many gaps in my understanding and I do wish I can close this gap wherever I can before I go. Depite my sometime fatalistic attitude (accepting fate), it does not reduce my sense of agency. I can only recall this hadith:

"If the Final Hour comes while you have a shoot of a plant in your hands and it is possible to plant it before the Hour comes, you should plant it."

Eldest Son's Birthday

Today is my eldest son's birthday. Given that I could not afford much, I've made sure that there is no preferential treatment between our sons and I should buy at least a cake. So I've bought a Dubai chocolate cake just the day before. We only ate the cake this morning since my son is working a six day week and often comes back late in the evening. Thus, we let him have his good night rest first.

We also took him out for a special lunch despite the financial strain. As I have often said, happiness needs efforts and sacrifice.

Other trivialities: our three-legged cat Hitam has caught a flu for several days now and seems to be losing weight. I hope he quickly recovers (going to vet is really expensive). Below is Hitam (right) with Fifi (left).

Also today, my third son went to get the key to his rented room in Bangsar South. He will start to move gradually during the week. Hopefully he could now save energy, money and time with this move. I have also told my other half that it is better for me not to follow her to Terengganu this coming weekend. I could only be a further burden to her financially and physically given my bad back. It is not something I decided lightly. She will travel with my second son from JB and take turns driving there. It is a pity that the ECRL has not started operations. My prayers that they will have a safe travel there and back.

Slow Progress

 

I have been going through ups and downs lately but more of the latter. Yet it is in such a position that suits best for one to progress better, slowly but God willing surely. With opportunities, they could accelerate such progress of course, but there is this delicate balance that needs to be maintained. I'm reminding myself that one learns better from a place of humility. During last Friday sermon, we were reminded about the market place for being the worst place to dwell in and then I thought current social media is even worse. Trying my best to avoid social media now.

If there is any goal that I'm pursuing now, is to see my own family through these challenging times. On my own personal life, I just want to be a good person and do well in the hereafter, It is a good thing that I've dug up my books from the store (mainly religious books) and I will begin to spend time reading them carefully, not just merely keeping them. My wish is that I have enough energy and time to finish them (funny, these are conjugate variables). On scientific pursuit, I guess I will be writing plain expositions (if anyone ever cared); perhaps can count as good deeds and make up for my shortcomings during my working life. Still, whenever I read (old papers and books), I still have to do reading on recent developments and perhaps update my understanding. I realized that there are plenty of gaps in my understanding of many topics of interest but I simply aim at having at least qualitative key ideas for the topics of interest.

Last Friday, we fetched our youngest from Kampung Sri Mendapat to spend some time with us during the weekend. Our second son from JB was also around, so we briefly had the full family around, but we stayed home mostly. On Thursday, we (me and Ihsan) helped send our third son's car for service - Izhar did not have too much free time these days, which include late night meetings. Ihsan has gone back to JB last Saturday and we had to send back Izzuddin on Sunday. Here is a photo of him driving after stopping by at Ayer Keroh RnR.

Alhamdulillah, it was lucky for him to be back with us last weekend. For otherwise, he would hav followed his friends for a weekend outing and we heard that they were involved in a small accident. We told him to be extra careful whenever he drives and avoid unnecessary trips outside his daily routine.

After Ten Days

I thought I should do another update since the last post was ten days ago. Been quiet mainly tending to my own problems which I try my best not to say too much. I will just say enough so that those who are close to me are in the know.

I had gone to UPM Medical Center and told Dr. Sufi about HPUPM could not help me with the letter to IJN. He rang up some of his acquaitances to see if HTJ has a cardiologist that could help but could not get anyone and then he suggested either Hospital Serdang or PPUM; since the former will have a longer queue, I decided on the latter. Managed to get an appointment at PPUM on 24th December and lets see what happens from there.

Was worried about my youngest in UiTM who is staying out of campus.He send us his first own cooked meal.

He was supposed to be able to go home last two weeks due to the haze (when the university decided to have online classes but he decided not to in order to keep his friend company at the rented house. Here is a photo of them eating dinner in Merlimau.

I have also asked my other half to help out with his pocket money before I top it up this week when my pension pay is in. Soon again, we will have to travel to Terengganu for my other half to attend a course (necessary for her to renew her practicing license). Just two days ago, our TV in the living room was not working and I told my other half, let us not do anything about it (it has already had problems before). In any case, I rarely watch TV nowadays but the TV was often used to play Qur'anic verses and prayers as my two sons tend to come home late in the evening (we had unwanted incidents before).

Some time last week, I decided to have a haircut since I wanted some change.

I have also decided to look through at all the books that I want to let go (mostly religious books at the moment). Started making notes on the Muslim World Book Review journals that I had advertised to let go (nobody seems interested). I discovered lively debate in the journal and saw people like Maryam Jameelah, Abdul Rahman I. Doi and S. Parvez Manzoor giving reviews on books. The last one, I recognize as a columnist in the now-discontinued Afkar Inquiry magazine. I used to follow this author as one that I had the greatest difficulty in understanding (need to look up the meaning of sophisticated English words). None of them writes on physics and mathematics but at the time, I sort of had a religious awakening.

I will probably stop putting books that I wanted to let go on social media and will do it elsewhere if I have the energy. I am working on another writing project now.