Searing Words

I need to get something off my chest. In the past, Sometimes people say very unkind words that seared deeply into my brain and heart. One can't just un'remember' it. Searing words indeed.

For instance, once I was confronted by a maths professor who knew my late brother and said unkind words about my brother. To this day, I can't see why he had to say that to me. I hardly know the professor and was puzzled why he did that. A probable reason is that I was rising in rank in the maths institute and some may have bad-mouthed me and then did some ill-campaign regarding this. The professor is no longer with us and may Allah forgive him. As much as I want to forgive him, the memory had stayed with me, seared rather deeply.

There are many instances of people saying unkind words to me and at times looked at me with disgust. But I want to get straight to a matter that was heavy in my heart and mind namely regarding my musician brother. He performed with Geng Waklong at our SEAMS School dinner. When the event ended and people were going back home, I introduced my brother to my superior to which he uttered 'Are you sure he is your brother?' since at the time he had taken off the stage clothings and was wearing his usual thin t-shirt. I was upset about it, thinking it was an inappropriate thing to say since it might hurt my brother's feelings. Perhaps the person was saying it in jest and I would say that it was a poor judgment on his part to do so since he did not know my family. But sometimes even people who do know us (the family) can say awful things. Likening any of us with a disabled person was really an awfully bad thing to say and I remember my late brother who organised the meet, was very angry about what had been said. In my thoughts, if one doesn't want to help then don't but guard one's tongue from saying awful things.

Some might ask why I'm bringing up the past; it is mainly because it serves as a lesson for all of us. In my limited capacity, I will try to help, God willing, and defend my family including my brothers and sisters from bad mouthing. If people still do bad mouthing, I will probably smile and walk away and maybe the person won't see much of me thereafter. Perhaps all that had happened is simply we had not done our duties and repay in kind to our parents. May Allah forgive us and that we will be able to meet our parents in jannah.

Note added: I was looking forward to the new Hijri year to be a better Muslim but arising things compelled me to make this post.

Leaking Porch, Leaking Purse

We were experiencing quite a downpour in the last two weeks and we found our porch was leaking very badly. My other half complained about it before it get any worse; she told me that the wooden structure (part) of the door seems to be swelling.due to dampness. I was hoping that we could postpone the repair since we are on a tight budget. However my other half is willing to take up the expenses (while I handle the regular bills). 

So earlier this week, we called our handyman to help fix the problem. Before that, my other half bought some sealant and tape stuffs to reduce the cost of repair. However, we were told that it was of the wrong or low quality type. So our handyman bought himself what was needed.

It took our handyman the whole day to do the repair but even then we need to test how good the repair is.

The next day, there was no rain for us to check if the leak is repaired. Mid week, there was another downpour in early morning. While there was less leakage, the leak near the door was still there. So, we had to do temporary workaround before we call our handyman to fix completely the leak.

So today, our handyman suggests that we install a zinc appendage where the leak is. He bought the necessary materials and did the repair in the later half of the day. The result is shown below.

We have yet to see whether this completely fix the problem or not. 

So for today's dinner, my other half suggested that we go out. We tried out a new eatery at S2 Ikon.

We have just heard that the insane war has reintensified and we were worried about the economic implication, I have always updated the family about the war; we need to be prepared. Currenty listening to Dr..Nungsari (my high school senior) in a podcast about our economy.

I have also received the news that our former physics staff passed away earlier this week. May Allah forgive him and grant him jannah.

We will follow suit. Life is fragile.

Long Weekend Leading To June

 The last weekend had a string of public holidays, making it a long weekend. First, there was Vesak day which falls on Sunday (May 31), celebrated by Buddhists.This is followed by the birthday of Agong (King), which falls on Monday (June 1).In conjunction with his birthday, honorific awards are given to selected individuals that have contributed much to the society. Overlapping with this is Gawai Day (June 1 & 2) which is celebrated in Sarawak, East Malaysis (a state holiday). Since Vesak day was on Sunday, the holiday should have been replaced on Monday but then Monday was also Agong's birthday. Thus, many offices have the 'weekend' extended until Tuesday.

My son Ihsan, as he promised, came back home on Friday and we had the whole family together that evening. My other half and Ihsan together with Izzuddin went to the cat expo the next day, but I stayed home (ontok-ontok mode). For the rest of the weekend, we stayed home (avoiding the busy traffic) since on Monday, Izzuddin has to go back to his college. Instead of sending Izzuddin ourselves, Ihsan volunteered to send back Izzuddin since he should be travelling back to Johor for work. Some photos below, just before their trip:

Excuse me in the sarong below.

When they arrived at the Jasin Campus, we were told that the cafe there was not open and thus Ihsan had to bring Izzuddin outside to get some. This delayed Ihsan's trip back to Johor and making it worse, there was a huge traffic jam.

Note added: Had listened to Jiang's final exam lecture during the weekend. The 'exam' is really where students given the task to ask questions or criticize the lessons that he has already given in the semester. Questions from beyond the class (his subscribers) were also discussed and thus Jiang's replies capture in some way how Jiang thought processes work. There was a follow-up lecture where Jiang discussed the work of his prevous mentor but I just couldn't bear listening to the whole thing and I stopped midway. The idea of reading in sexual ideas into what would be otherwise 'holy activities' seems like devuant teachings I have heard in the past. This is essentially the problem of 'idolising creativity' too much; ideas can go wrong and it can lead others astray. I was really surprised that these deviant sexualised ideas are being taught in a class of 'high school students'.

Knocking Opportunities and Responsibilities

One of the hadith (Prophetic tradition) that had some impact on me when I first read it is the following:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "O `Abdur-Rahman! Do not seek to be a ruler, for if you are given authority on your demand then you will be held responsible for it, but if you are given it without asking (for it), then you will be helped (by Allah) in it. If you ever take an oath to do something and later on you find that something else is better, then you should expiate your oath and do what is better." (see here)

When I looked back upon the events of my life, I try to reframe in the context of the hadith. For instance, when I first took an administrative position, it was not me chasing for it. I was asked to form a new laboratory (Theoretical Studies Laboratory = TSL) at Institute for Advanced Technology (note that it has changed its name but in those days, it had the acronym ITMA), it was really the idea of Prof. M.A.K. Lodhi to the management and I was invited to head it. I did not immediately said yes and sat on the brewing idea until the Director urged me not to delay the decision. Much of the delay is really due to the preparation of its paperwork. Even later when there were restructuring of institutes for which I was told that TSL is to merge with the mathematics institute (INSPEM), I consulted the INSPEM director about the idea and how to go about it (not pushing it). Initially, I joined the mathematics institute as an ordinary member but later I was asked to head Laboratory of Computational Sciences and Informatics. Given the field of the lab, much of me was figuring out how to fit in. After awhile, I saw that the research conducted by the lab can be lumped mostly into Computational Sciences, while Informatics was not quite the emphasis. That is when I proposed the change of name to Computational Sciences and Mathematical Physics. At the time, my students and I were doing research on cusp forms on hyperbolic surfaces, which sits nicely between the domains of computational sciences and mathematical physics. Later, I wanted to push for complex networks which sits between computationl sciences, networked systems and computable structures, but perhaps it was not as successful as I had wished. After awhile, another opportunity came kncking, namely the appointment as Deputy Director and this was also not from my push but I accepted it then (not knowing what it will bring). Citing health problems, I later stepped down and I was back at the Department/Faculty as an ordinary member and had preferred it that way until my retirement.

The prophetic tradition stated above also influenced my decision making in other matters. I rarely push for anything unless opportunities come knocking my way. While I have ambitions,needs and wants like any other ordinary person, I tend not to push myself for them until opportunities come naturally. Even in mundane matters like adopting cats, most of the cats we owned was given to us or crossed out path in some way e.g. the three legged cat Hitam who came to us for help (see this post).

Presently, my son Ihsan presented to us the opportunity of owning another further three cats that his friend wanted to let go due to his job in Singapore and has little time to look after them. We are still thinking about it since we already have eight cats in our house. There are responsibilities that come with owning cats and so far, the maximum number of cats that we had was twelve.

Eid-ul-Adha 1447

We celebrated Eid-ul-Adha today. It is recommended that we do not have breakfast first before the 'Eid prayers and be early at the mosque particularly at our place. Izhar drove us (me and Izzuddin; our eldest was down with flu and was advised to rest) to Masjid Hussain at 7.35 am. We can see many people (mostly immigrant workers, I think) already walking towards the mosque. While we were quite early, the main prayer hall was already filling up quickly and 15 minutes later, it was packed.

The 'Eid prayers started at around 8.25 am after the Imam reminded us how to perform the prayers since it is only done twice a year (the other one is during Eid-ul Fitri). After the prayers, the 'Eid sermon was given and thereafter we went home to have our  breakfast.

We took a group photo after breakfast. Not included the picture is Izhar who took the photo and Ihsan who had to work during 'Eid this time.

We did not go anywhere today and simply stayed home. We were also waiting for our autogate repairman to come as the gate wheels were not functioning properly.

The repair caused me RM250 (which includes the cost of a pair of new wheels) and I guess the price is fitting since today is a public holiday. I hope that there will be no unexpected expenses after this.

Note added: It is a bit worrying that there are now plans for a mischievious administrative takeover of Al-Aqsa mosque. It will sure caused an uproar in the Muslim world. You can listen about the plans here.

Fasting on Day of Tarwiyah and Day of Arafah

As a Muslim, I have fasted on the Day of Tarwiyah and in an hour, I will be breaking fast for the Day of Arafah. May Allah make me a better Muslim. even if there is a significant hatred towards Muslims today. It is recommended that we make supplications during this day.  One can watch the live telecast of this day below:

or the one below: 

 

May Allah give me the opportunity to do pilgirmage. May Allah protect us in these trying times.

The news that I have just heard is that war on Iran has just restarted despite the proclaimed negotiations and peace talks. May common sense prevailed and the Fasadists be prevented from causing more destruction.

Note added: This afternoon, I have just watched Sneako interviewing Korra. I do not know who Korra is, maybe I should check her viralled debate video. Also I watched this video of Prof. Jiang's lecture; I was wondering what was the context of this lecture being given. Do watch minute 16:46 that led me to chuckle a bit.

Saturn's Day Matters

Yesterday, me and my other half went down to UiTM Jasin to pick up our youngest son for his mid-semester break that coincides with Eidul-Adha. Just the day before, Ihsan decided to come home for a short break from his work. So yesterday, we had the whole family together at least briefly.

When we picked up Izzuddin yesterday,we were told that all the eateries in campus were closed since Thursday due to the upcoming holidays. We could not pick him up earlier because he had a test on Friday. Also he had exhausted all his pocket money (without informing me) then, since food ordered from outside tend to be more expensive. So we decided to stop at the Ayer Keroh RnR for him to have his breakfast.

Sometime in the afternoon, my other half's sister stopped by with her daughter's family as she was on the way to PJ for a wedding. Some photos

In the evening, before ihsan goes back to work, we (except for Izhar) went out for dinner at the new mamak restaurant at Icon. Here's a gtoup photo outside the restaurant.

Thereafter Ihsan drove back to Johor as he will clocked in for work at 7am the next day. Hope we will be able to have another family gathering after Eidul Adha. Wishing for happier moments (and with hopefully, better economic conditions).