61 and Goodbye 2023

About two weeks ago, I turned 61. It came at a time when I was still struggling in preparation of final examination of the subjects I'm teaching. So, it was not quite a joyous moment. Of course, the family made a little celebration where we had dinner at Belqis Restaurant, a local Arabic restaurant. It boasted of the chef was once a chef for the Sultan of Bahrain. 

As we went out of the restaurant, I saw they were also selling kunafa (take-away) that we have started to enjoy since our umrah trip. Perhaps at some other time, we will buy them when we have the cravings. The family has also bought me a cake and we had it two days later in the weekend.

In the past, I would have posted these pics on the social media. This time, I did not, given what is happening in the world and I had several times shied away from the social media. The social media began to evolve as a toxic place to be and I wanted to stay away from being a participant in the toxic activities. In many ways, I sincerely believe that the social media is not the place for any serious academic discussions despite as an educator, one would like to use this available platform to educate others and oneself (at times, I do discover some useful gems). Much of this is due to many are using the platform to boost their ego and create closed-minded followers. A lot of us (academics) have fall victim to this behaviour and I think it is time for us to stop the rot. As a seeker of knowledge, one should stop using knowledge to serve our ego/elite status but rather help others to reap benefits from one's possession of knowledge. It is clear that knowledge on its own does not guarantee one's God-consciousness or higher moral stance. It is also clear that the knowledge one has gained (by the Grace of God) is not purely the results of one's strive. Indeed, given the knowledge one possesses, that should have instilled better intellectual humility and not the other way round (and hence my despise for arrogance). The sad thing is the system we tend to set up for academia (rankings, promotion etc.), moves away from this. Here, one remembers this hadith on those who wish/ask for leadership.

On that note, one should state that it is precisely arrogance that led to the conflict in Filistin, the thought that one has more rights or entitlement than others, giving way to politics of dispossession; rights without accompanying responsibilities. Extending such arrogance led to current genocide, committing crimes against humanity with impunity. I do read comments/posts from those who support such atrocities but much of these are read with a sense of disbelief. I also saw many links to videos in support of the genocide to hasten the end times as if it is a good thing to look forward to. One comment that I've read from a 'respectable' intellectual, which I guessed it was in response to bombardment of hospitals, querying why are there so many hospitals in the small region of Ghazzah, perhaps implying luxury or undeserving for the (two million) population. What a disappointing comment. Even the small city that I'm living in, with only half a million population has so many hospitals, public and private. In any case, such arguments do not even justify the crime of bombing hospitals. Anyway, we are approaching 100 days of the 'war' (aggression) and the suffering of the people of Filistin is unimaginable. May Allah replace their suffering with better days ahead or/and with Jannah; for those who caused the suffering, may Allah bring them to their senses or be damned in the hereafter.

So, what are my plans ahead in the new year. As much that I want to rest, I still have to work and earn extra income to help support the family. I must say that I'm not sure that I will get reappointed. My inability to meet the deadlines for setting the final exams must have looked bad; I will leave this to the management if they still need me to teach at XMUM. In a way, the current appointment helped me get used to the hard work; teaching four hours in one day often left me exhausted and there are plenty of documentations to prepare. I felt bad not being able to meet the deadlines and certainly was stressed about it. In my thoughts, I would rather prepare properly the exam questions as needed, even though this may put me in a bad light. I do still want to be active scientifically and teaching thus far, help me brushed up on things that I have left for so long (and this is not as easy as it sounds). If things do not quite go my way, I will still try to be active at least for a few more years. I joked with my sons that may be I should start a (technical) podcast, though I remembered a well-respected local scholar said that he prefer not to be recorded and he is well-known more for his writings rather than his public appearance. I wonder what were his reasons. For me, as imperfect human, we do tend to make mistakes (and go uncorrected) when we do oral presentations. Another fear is that as we see in many regular podcasts, there is pressure to create content and the dynamics of intent becomes different from the original ones that had education in mind. In any case, I just want to be useful, recalling an advice by John Inkson as relayed by David Bradley in a comment in FB. May all of these be passed as good deeds for me in the hereafter.

Just to mention last Friday, I have completed my work on the final exams and went to XMUM academic office to send some documents there. Thereafter, we prayed Asr at the surau in the administrative block (there was heavy traffic going south) and then decided to have our early dinner at The Grind Coffee & Kitchen, right in front of XMUM.

Bidding farewell to 2023 and hope for better things in 2024.

Varia: 'Exam' in Progress

I have promised myself that I would not blog until I made significant progress with my preparation for the final exams of the two subjects I am teaching. Breaking partially this promise as I have one subject more to go. Pretty stressed up but as they say, only the person experiencing it knows the actual pain involved. Many things have gone past and I need to record them.

First, my involvement in PERFIK 2023. I was asked by the Program Chair to chair at least one session and I remembered this was asked even before I had officially joined XMUM as a part-time lecturer. I agreed to help but I did not know at the time, I was listed as a committee (and my role as advisor was only known to me after the event on checking the website - note my null affiliation).

It has been a while since I have joined any conference event. Perhaps the last one I attended was the one in India (see this post - actually I was unwell at the time). So one the day itself, I did my part though I must say on my mind, was the deadline for the final exam materials on the following Friday. The session I was chairing was on Astronomy and Theoretical Physics. 

Perhaps, some might say that chairing talks is an easy task but if one is really responsible is to note that (besides time-keeping) the heavy part is to encourage people to interact (ask questions). So if there are no questions from the audience, the chairperson might have to start the ball rolling. This requires one to be attentive to the contents of the talk. I asked a few questions myself in some of the talks and this was quite easy for me because I do want to learn something from the talks.

I still follow the genocide happening in Ghazza, Palestine. It has now reached almost 20,000 people killed and about two million people displaced. Simply madness. I have been listening to many podcasts and commentaries on this issue. Some include views of Refaat Alareer, reporting live from Ghazza. At the time I did not know that he was a UPM alumni (see news item here). After the pic below appeared, then I remembered about one piece of news of an academic staff being listed on the watchlist of the States denying the person's entry but the person contested the matter.

Some videos worth watching of Refaat are https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0RaHuEjqi0 and his poem "I Am You" here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZE7YnRIXtg. 

I do worry about our future if there is 'an end' to the present tragedy. There are news report that Ghazza has been used as testing ground for weapons. This includes an AI system called Habsora, to set up targets in Ghazza (certainly not the way AI should be used - somehow I was reminded of the film Minority Report). Some might wonder why I'm (still) posting on this issue. For me it is a significant event in our times and matters to me as a human and as a Muslim. If others do not want to highlight this matter, it is their choice and I have mine.

Other developments: Through Suhaimi Napis efforts, we got reconnected with Moha Lhousni, our colleague in University of Durham. I remembered having his thesis (see below) and we had many discussions then.

Just recently, Moha send us this photo. I was told it was during 'Eid and I believe it is at Parsons Field House (our accommodation).

Nest, was my meet with Dr. Yap Yung Szen who was at XMUM to give a guest lecture in Prof. Paterek's class. We chatted a bit about work, admin and stuff. He showed me a single qubit and a 10-qubit chip that he brought along for his lecture there.

Finally, some time last week, Dr. Nurisya told me that they have cleared my old office. I was hoping to do these myself but sometime earlier I was told to return the key to my old office. I hope there are no valuable stuff being thrown away. I did mention that I will donate some books (in Malay) andthesis to the theory group.

I have to thank them (Dr. Nurisya, Dr. Chan and the students) for this help.