Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Award, Upcoming Retirement and the Talk

Sometime last week, I received a call regarding an event whether I can be present or not. It is Majlis Gemilang Putra for 2022 (held yesterday) where staff are given awards for their work. It seems that I was one of the recipient for Jasa Putra award.


I was told to be early for the ceremony. Given that our traffic tend to be unpredictable, I decided to go to campus early yesterday, almost after Fajr prayers. Manage to get a bite or two, to make sure that I will have energy during the ceremony. I managed to arrive in campus before 7.30am. Given the advice that I should be early at the Main Hall, I began my walk to the hall at 7.45am. On arrival, I thought I was too early.


The event actually started roughly more than an hour later. Luckily, the Jasa Putra awards were given quite early in the ceremony after the JasaMu Dikenang awards given to relatives of staff members who have passed away. So, here is my picture accepting the award (taken by my ex-PA in INSPEM)



There were supposed to be others from the Faculty who should be receiving the same award but apparently they are not there, apart from Nik Afida.


I am happy to receive the award and much indebted to the university as a place where I have built my career on. It is nice to know, once in a while, that our work is being appreciated by others. Most of the time, we tend to have our self-doubts on how much we have done and whether it means anything to anyone. One thing I know is that when I join UPM (during an interview), I wanted to establish theoretical physics in the university and I think I have achieved this to a certain extent (maybe not as much as I wanted to). Putting myself down to earth, I am aware that the award is given to those who have retired or about to retire in 2022. Other awards are more distinguished in the sense that they are given to those who are very excellent in their work. 

Some people asked me what are my retirement plans. Let me say leaving the university for me is not easy; I have still desire to live up my scientific dreams and was hoping that it is realised within UPM. On the other hand, I have done what I can and I have to grow still, perhaps explore other avenues to realise whatever ambitions I have left. Despite what others might think, I am not a quitter and whatever decision I have made in the past is based on arising circumstances. I have learned a lot, being part of management of the various institutes, and the experience has broadened my horizon. To my younger colleagues, my advice is to practice patience and resilience. If I had been a quitter, I would probably have left theoretical physics altogether. Reality in universities today (local or abroad) are faced with new challenges (often self-created and self-propagated) and it does not tally with the traditional university and idealism one used to have in our youth. Work based on facts and not emotions, but use emotions (passion) to drive important and long term matters. Place respect where they are due; most academics are as talented as one is but it is always circumstances that make us modify our thoughts and eventually bury talent and creativity. Worse, when our ego gets in the way. In matters of disagreement, always keep this in mind. It is often easy to go on the complaining mode without having a clue on how constructive can one be when faced with undesirable problems. This article could help us with such a predicament.

Perhaps after retirement, I suppose, one of the things I could do is to give talks to the younger generation. For instance, this upcoming Sunday, I will be giving a talk at an undergraduate conference (see poster below). I was a bit surprised that I was invited because I don't consider myself that good of a speaker particularly on a general topic. I even asked them whether they would like to consider younger theorists instead. This is in part due to I still have bit of work left to do (one PhD thesis to examine and another to chair, my own students to graduate and a few projects in mind). Nevertheless, I have agreed and currently reading some materials to build ideas on.



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