Of Labels, Positions and Salvation

I have been called with many labels. With some students and colleagues abroad, some call me professor and in the earlier days, I would explain to them I'm just an associate professor.  Later, I've grown tired of explaining myself and let them be uncorrected. They could always look me up in official websites what my actual position is. For that matter, I'm fine being just called a lecturer or 'Dr.', like in this conference where I was invited to give a talk. In fact, later when I retire, I will no longer have the Associate Professorship; I will simply be a 'Dr.' by virtue of the PhD degree I have. Sometimes people have asked me, why I have not applied for professorship. I don't really know, I just feel I need to do more first. Perhaps I'll wait for some significant original scientific idea that I long for and that will never come. In any case, the current criteria for professorship is very demanding and to a certain extent I question myself of what I used to know as an academic professor.

Many of the labels that I got, however, are often derogatory, some I take seriously and would try to improve myself but some I find meaningless and merely attempts of discredit. Some would take me as a fool for not 'fighting' back but at times I felt it would be more foolish to do so. There is so much pretense today, putting up 'shows' (maybe I'm wrong), to the extent that I just want to do something different, Yesterday I discussed about my previous resignation from an administrative post with a colleague. I know some sniggered at this 'foolish' action but I took into account of my health conditions as well as the labels that had been thrown at me, indicating that I'm not wanted there. In retrospective, I recalled the hadith:

Abdur Rahman ibn Samurah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said to me, “O Abdur Rahman, do not ask for authority. If it is given to you at your request, you will be held fully responsible for it. If it is given to you without your request, you will be helped by Allah in it.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6727, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1652

Thus, I'm glad that I did it. For some exposition on this matter, I suggest to listen to Sheikh Omar Suleiman at https://yaqeeninstitute.org/omar-suleiman/hadith-4-to-seek-or-not-to-seek-leadership-40-hadiths-on-social-justice. The position was really not my concern. I still believe in the struggle of putting theoretical physics (and more very technical mathematical science at large) at UPM and in the country as a whole. This belief can be realised in many different ways and thus would like to take a different path. Hopefully, it will count as good deeds in the hereafter.

In the previous post, I spoke of granting me peace until my retirement. I already had unpleasant memories before and would not want to add more as it would make me bitter. This will not help me get salvation in the hereafter, which is ultimately what I want. May Allah ease the path for me.