In Malaysia, 1st Ramadhan of 1440 Hijri calendar, began on Sunday night on May 5th. As usual we look forward to the Tarawih prayers. This time round, I was not that fit healthwise as I hoped for. My other half and I simply prayed at home while my sons went to the mosque. It is normal that the first week or so, there will be larger congregation than usual. We continued to do so the next day. Perhaps thinking of all that had happened in the last several months or so, some sadness descended on me on the second night and broke into tears to the surprise of my other half. Felt that my life after this will be short and am not sure I have done anything useful.
The day thereafter, I just had to strengthen my will to go to work. Taught the Special Relativity class and helped prepare the students for their second test (held yesterday). Tried my best to stay positive but it seems to be a difficult week. There were matters happening that seems to test my patience and had me on the defensive. Can't explain the burden that I'm carrying. At present, I just wish that May 31st will come soon as I have grown very tired. I wanted a quieter and less stressful life.
I pray that the following few weeks of Ramadhan will be better for me and make me the better person I want to be.
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