Studently Teacher

Yesterday and today, I received  Teacher's Day wishes from a school-mate and a student of my younger colleague. I consider myself more as a student than a teacher; even today, I still feel that I have much to learn. Due to this, I felt I have not done much as a teacher. I come from an average Malay family with no real preparation for me to begin a career in theoretical physics (to this, I actually envy those who had such preparations including the ones of Olympiads). It was only in my third and fourth years of my undergraduate studies in Adelaide that I got to know more about theoretical physics. So that besides those years and the Part III year in Cambridge, most of my knowledge in theoretical physics are from self-study. So when I come back from my PhD, I had this mission of making theoretical physics opportunities available to our local students. I even mentioned this in my interview for my lecturer position in UPM.

Trained as a theorist, I taught mostly theoretical subjects in the physics curriculum with extensive teaching in quantum mechanics. The pic below shows the class of Special Relativity & Classical Field Theory during my final years of teaching in UPM.

After many years of undergraduate teaching, I found myself 'stuck' thinking at the level of undergraduate (theoretical) physics. It was then, I conciously become aware of the need of reseearch-level thinking and I began to take many graduate students. Unfortunately there was no elaborate postgraduate-level courses for theoretical physics apart from Advanced Mathematical Physics (even this, it is more often reintroducing some of the undergraduate topics taught at a more technical level. Thus, my postgraduate 'teaching' is often limited to personal interactions and group meetings with my students, and had to depend upon the curiosity level of the students themselves. Due my own experience as a postgraduate student, I tend to make student independence as part of the training. I was told by Dr. Toh, this might not be suitable for everyone and indeed some students did not quite finish their studies. In my final years of undergraduate teaching, I began to introduce independent reading list from mostly journals, for students to do (critical) reviews as assignments. I wasn't sure what impact it has on students since this was only given in a few (final) semesters. I do hope it has instlled some interest of students in theoretical physics and perhaps the idea of independent self-study.

As I have said above, I consider myself more as a student than a teacher and I'm pretty sure there are many shortcomings in my teaching (May Allah forgive me). Studying theoretical physics is not easy and one has to work very hard. As an average Malay (student), I certainly had to overcome (cultural) inhibitions and inferiority complex. I remember vaguely my late mum was telling me the story of what she heard during her pilgrimage (I think) from someone academic who was in the same pilgrimage, saying that it was 'rare' for a Malay to take up theoretical physics. I certainly would like to push back such stereotype. Yes, it is hard work but it is not impossible. I would say, if me as an average student can do it, then others should be able to do so. I leave with some pictures of slides that I had prepared for a workshop for academic advisors early in my career.