Fast-Forwarding Birthday Celebration

In my last post, I mentioned about the whole family was back together again briefly, but I wasn't sure if we had anything planned while we were together. Apparently, the kids (yeah, I know they are grown-ups) apart from my eldest, had something planned. Early the next morning, they were not at home as they went hiking somewhere in Senawang (I did not get the name of the exact location).

After their hiking outing, they joined us for breakfast (my eldest's treat) at a nearby mamak restaurant. Thereafter, we went for our grocery shopping at Mydin (while they went home to rest). We (me and my other half) used up both of our Sara allocation, and topped it up from our own pockets for the extras. The groceries bought should last for at least two weeks plus. While shopping, I found myself in great pain due to my back and I was sweating almost profusely. Once we got back home, I had to rest and sleep the pain off. This happened quite frequently nowadays. 

In the evening, there was another suggestion that we should celebrate my youngest son's 'birthday' somewhere, while we were together. His birthday is actually at the end of the month and at the time Ihsan will not be around and it will be in Ramadhan. Finally we opted out for a fast food dinner with Ihsan giving us the treat.

So yesterday evening, Ihsan had to go back to JB, just in time for him to work his night shift. Before that, I also had prepared the documents for an IJN appointment and emailed them. To my surprise, they replied almost immediately. It seems to ensure for an appointment, I need a proper cardiologist letter from a public hospital, which I do not have. So for now, it will be an NFA for me. I will probably tell Dr. Sufi (my UPM doctor) this in my next appointment and asked for his advice.

On science and other developmental stuff, I will still carry on my work as far as I can, even when I am advised to just focus on my next life. I am also trying my best to avoid social media as much as I can and only do them when I post things up and when I am 'free' (stuck when I can't conveniently do anything else). The social media has become a battle ground for warring influencers and less as a platform for friends. Thus, I no longer make birthday wishes there (my apologies) apart from special instances like the KwekFest FB post yesterday. For world affairs, there is much speculation about a looming war with Iran and also the recent furore of the exposure of the E*stein files. On the latter, I can't help feeling there is a more sinister intention of the exposure. Certainly, the picture that we are getting is that (powerful) people can get away with anything rendering a plague of helplessness. This morning, I have just listened to S(h)neako's interview with Prof. Jiang, which I find interesting. All else, most of us are just living our insignificant lives but yet the intent is to make them as meaningful as we can for ourselves.

Pre-Ramadhan Gathering

Today, my son, Ihsan, came back home from JB. As he reached home, a representative from the surau (Azif?) came by to drop a box of dates from the surau.

Just two days ago, we fetched Izzuddin from UiTM Jasin for his semester holidays. Before leaving the college, he took a pic with his friends.

He also helped drive on our journey back home (Note: he rarely had the opportunity to drive Malibu and this time for a long distance).

So, with both Ihsan and Izzuddin home, we have now the whole family back together again. Unsure if we have any special plans while everyone is back. Ihsan, in particular, said that he might not be able to take leave during Ramadhan. Let's see how the day goes.

Just the day before our Jasin trip, I went to UPM to collect my stock of medications for Ramadhan & Shawwal. I also showed the medical report from Pantai Hospital of my angio CT scan to Dr. Sufi (the doctor at UPM). I requested another letter from him to IJN as advised by some others (in addition to the letter from Pantai Hospital). I was told that there may only be a partial coverage of the fees of whatever procedures done at IJN as a UPM retiree. If the fees are too high and not affordable for me, I will probably take the risk of not undergoing the procedure. In some way, I wished that I did not have taken the angio CT scan before. If I have to go, I will just go.

On scientific front, I have been making many pauses in whatever I'm doing due to my back and my intake of pain killers. I would be lying if I have not thought of giving up on science altogether. The only thing that held me back is somehow my feeling of doing the science is like a religious obligation, given that I have been given the opportunity of pursuing it before. More so, when theoretical sciences and pure mathematics are less pursued locally. Thus, it is more critical to create enough critical mass in these science. The coming AI revolution (if it is not already here) will make it more urgent for such community building. Even if AI are going to replace many of the intellectual processes in the future, we as humans will still be part of the picture (hopefully not as slaves). The least, the role of meaning endower for the intellectual process executed, should be taken up by the human, but I think it should be more than that.

Mid Shaaban 1447

We are now in mid-Shaaban (see pic below snapped by my eldest son using his phone) and soon we will be in Ramadhan, insyaAllah. I sincerely hope there will be a significant positive change for me and the family this Ramadhan. In any case, ontok-ontok mode is still on. 

A lot of my work has been delayed much due to my health. Despite the acquired knowledge of the diseased heart recently, it is my bad back that affects me the most. Yesterday when we went to the laundrette to dry my clothes, I had probably strained my back a litte. Thereafter, I felt some pain while stepping my right foot down. Took a heavier dose of pain killers in the evening and hope this pain will slowly go away.

Not having a 'job' to help me with increasing expenses and being pretty limited with house chores (due to back pain), the feeling of being 'useless' can be depressing. Like always, one has to snap out from this self-pity and carry on with one's life. At this juncture, I remembered listening to Xiang Xueqin talks negatively about his own father, coming from the Baby Boomer generation (like I am). He spoke about such generation being driven by selfishness, becoming agents of decline for the Western civilization and economic growth was utilized at the expense of the younger generation (to this, he included his father). I was really surprised by this since Asians tend to have stronger family ties with respect to the elderly. I guess he was simply demonstrating the analysis. I examined myself on this idea and I would not include myself with such attributed Boomer characteristics. On the other hand, I see younger generation has lost their traditional Asian values and there is a tendency of being more transactional and selfish. Hope my children will hold more closely Islamic values than we were.

On a slightly more mysterious development, there have been many strange happenings in our house but most of the time we simply ignore them. This includes the teapot incident that I have reported earlier (which certainly fall as an extreme case of such events). For the Muslims, we do entertain the 'unseen world'. Recently, another event occurred. My other half, from time to time, prayed and recited Qur'an in my son's room at the far end, partly not to have the room being vacant for too long. Last Thursday, she told me that the Qur'an that she was reading and had left it on the bed in the room, was on the floor and the prayer mat was displaced from its usual position. I asked her if she had forgotten leaving it there or any of our cats had entered. To the latter, she replied in the negative and for the former, I certainly do not believe that she will leave the Qur'an lying on the floor since we don't normally do that out of respect for the scripture. Well, thereafter, we started reciting Surah Al-Baqarah, so that we felt spiritually safe. Below is the pic of the Qur'an and one can see that it is too heavy to be accidentally displaced.

Back to 'normal matters', our son from JB (whose room my other half is using) came back to visit us a few days earlier. On Tuesday that week, before going back to JB, he brought us for lunch and the PnC restaurant.