Last week, I spent working in office for the whole week, hoping to prove I have no qualms in doing so and am not hell-bent to work from home as previously announced possible. I was told that there were some changes, not sure triggered by what, that academics can punch in once from outside the campus and once inside the campus. Perhaps this flexibility works for many, particularly to those who lives nearby. For me, living in Seremban, 47 km from the university, if I go to the campus, I will just stay there until the office hours end. To me, it doesn't matter any more, I will sacrifice my time for travelling to work on average, one and a half hour each day (if no traffic problems). Not to mention that the drive is tiring (giving my back a beating) and all the risks given that there is a significant proportion of drivers who do not practice safe driving. More importantly, I do not like to be considered as a habitual complainer and a problem maker. I am committed to do work even if the kind of work I do goes unappreciated; I don't work to be visible to be doing work (which seems to be the norm). If I want to be at home (working or not), I will take leave as I will do this coming Monday, just to avoid the heavy traffic during the convocation.
On the topic of visibility, I have stopped counting days on the social media. The purpose of the count is mainly personal and I still do it within my small notebook. I do not want to be seen as attention-beggar, making these announcements. I mainly post things that I felt that there will be benefits for others with the view of myself being an educator. I don't aim to be a social influencer or popularity-chaser. The content of my posts are usually what preoccupies my mind (except links that I find interesting) without the artificiality of trying to find something interesting to say (conscious of this). On keeping links and information, I have started doing my own Random Notes stored electronically. If I find some of these particularly interesting, I will share them on the social media.
Lately, me shying away from people, some may have thought I have given up. I certainly have not but I tend to be more conscious of my deeds and I am selective of what I do, not to be caught in the frenzy of a rat race. On things that I have been told off as doing not as good, I do shy away from them but not in the sense of being irresponsible, rather focusing more on what one can do better. Over the years, I have seen a lot of unnecessary things to do being heaped upon us in the name of continual improvement. Sometimes in the craziness of trying to change, one forgets the tradition one intends to build, usually comes over slow but rooting changes. Some has even told me that I could not fit in the current work environment, to which I feel I'm sorry they feel that way. I am not sure what kind of negative imageries that are being propelled somewhere about me (some of which is very damaging), but I have essentially become numbed to these. For me, I am now preparing myself for the post-retirement phase. I do hope to get to play a minor role in a new work environment. I do hope to get a paid job because I still need to pay my bills and support my children, two of whom are continuing their tertiary education.
My youngest will soon be going to UiTM in Jasin, to do his diploma study very soon. To prepare him for this, just bought a new laptop last Friday night. I pray that he will do well.
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